Thursday, February 7, 2019

Accepting help


I've decided to make 2019 the year of helping/assisting/loving/donating/volunteering on my Discovering Love inspirational site. Most of the articles will be mine, but I’ve asked friends for guest articles on how they’re working in their circles of influence. Stay tuned!
  

©  2019 Christy K Robinson

Part of being a humane (compassionate, empathetic, kind, ethical) person is sacrificial giving. That's what we were taught in Bible classes and scout-type organizations growing up.

Many of the formative books I read, including the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder, and the Dickensian and Bronte novels of the mid-19th century, lauded the act of charitable giving and selfless sacrifice, but assigned a vague sense of shame to those who were poor and forced to accept charity to survive. It was somehow a virtue to refuse to accept help or "charity."

And then there's that unbiblical proverb: "God helps those who help themselves."

But it's more like this: God helps those who need help, and God helps givers. Sometimes the help comes through a miracle, or something we can't explain, but we know by faith who was the source. And sometimes the help comes because God directs people through their hearts and minds to reach out to others.

Many years ago, I was the state director of a single adult ministry that was founded for fellowship and mutual support of never-married, widowed, and divorced adults of all ages in a denomination that catered to traditional two-parent families with children. We were a vibrant, connected, loving group because we focused on causes outside ourselves. On a monthly basis, we visited churches around the state and led worship music, sometimes gave the sermon, and then had fun with a potluck luncheon and afternoon hike or carpool driving safari. Closer to home, our group performed community service with our denomination, or with a homeless-feeding organization. Some of us took single moms' kids out for a Sunday afternoon of sports, biking around a park, hiking a trail, to a museum, or riding the kiddie train at the park. A few paid off utilities before they were shut off for non-payment, or sheltered battered women until they could get into a program. We started a bank account with our denomination's conference office for assisting extraordinary needs of single adults, prayed for guidance in how to use the donated monies, and had a committee to oversee disbursements. 

One of our members was a single mom with a child in Christian school. She took in a battered woman with daughters, and then in the heat of a Phoenix summer, her air conditioning unit died. We had a few hundred dollars in our benevolence fund, and we voted to write a check to our friend. A man who lived near her delivered the check to her, and it turned out to be the exact amount she needed to get the a/c unit repaired. Coincidence? Or God's help through answering our prayers for guidance?

My English friend puts herself in the driver seat for this one.
If only the driver were in a frame of mind to accept help!
Something I learned as a result of volunteer service, or donating goods or money, is that God blesses the giver in unusual ways. I wouldn't call it "reciprocity," that you give something to get something. But here's what I got from giving. I felt that in the entire universe, in this galaxy's solar system, on this planet of seven billion souls, God chose me -- ME -- to work through. I won't try to explain that, because you've felt it or you haven't.

Another lesson is that even with hard work, saving, and doing my best to survive this economy, or if I've practiced and rehearsed and then made errors, I need to reach out for help. I used to be one of those who were too proud to accept charity. But that's just the problem. Pride is destructive and sets you apart for loneliness. When I asked a few friends for prayer on a certain issue, and walked them out to their cars to say goodbye, they each told me that they were honored to be asked to pray for help! What?? They felt that out of all the people on the planet, God had used them to work through to help me.

So it's not just me making that up. 
It's a thing. 
Like a law of nature. 

When I accept help, God blesses someone with just the right words, or a healing hug, or helping hands, or their financial gift. They get a charge of joy, of satisfaction, of being part of a miracle. The giver and the recipient are bound together with the giving and receiving.

God is a giver. He for-gives our sin. He gives life. He gives food and drink, and gives beauty. He wants us to know the joy of what it's like to give, to create, to heal, to bring light to darkness, to lighten someone's load.

Paul knew this when he wrote to the Corinthians about their brothers in Macedonia. The Christians of Corinth insistently begged to be allowed to disregard their own interests and financially help the Macedonians.
Now, brothers and sisters, we want to tell you about the grace of God which has been evident in the churches of Macedonia [awakening in them a longing to contribute]; for during an ordeal of severe distress, their abundant joy and their deep poverty [together] overflowed in the wealth of their lavish generosity. For I testify that according to their ability, and beyond their ability, they gave voluntarily, begging us insistently for the privilege of participating in the service for [the support of] the saints [in Jerusalem]. Not only [did they give materially] as we had hoped, but first they gave themselves to the Lord and to us [as His representatives] by the will of God [disregarding their personal interests and giving as much as they possibly could]. 2 Corinthians 8:1-5 Amp
I used to hear this statement when people were asking for donations, or asking for the tithes and offerings to be collected in church: "Give until it hurts." 

But I'm here to tell you that with the right heart and mind, giving doesn't hurt. Giving feels fantastic. And learning to accept gifts can be a blessing when you remember that the giver is feeling fantastic.  





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Christy K Robinson is author of these sites:
·       Discovering Love (inspiration)
·       Rooting for Ancestors (history and genealogy)
·       William and Mary Barrett Dyer (17th century culture and history of England and New England)
and of these books:
·       We Shall Be Changed (2010)
·       Mary Dyer Illuminated (2013)
·       Mary Dyer: For Such a Time as This (2014)
·       Effigy Hunter (2015)

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